Intimacy

THE CRUMBCAST 6

47 comments

  1. This was a really good strip. Some men when they hit their ?mid? late? 40s, really have a testosterone drop. and I have been told that lower testosterone can cause depression for them, too. I think it’s great how you show something intimate here…cartooning therapy…

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    1. This was something I only just recently found out. I’ve always had depression anyway but a lower level of testosterone does also appear to have contributed to this state somewhat… certainly in the last few years when my depression has been much worse than it ever has. This was cartooning therapy for sure!

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      1. This has been coming up in my marriage of late. It hasn’t been enough of an issue/often enough to be much bother to me (especially because men seem to want it so much more than women!) but it is a sort of colossal disaster to my husband. Also, he really isn’t good at expressing his feelings such as depression so that will translate to something like I’m not paying enough attention to him. When I think it’s more like, I’m down, I’m depressed, I’m sad, I need you to comfort me and reassure me and show me extra love because I’m down. Some men can show all of that (my six year old is really articulate that way) but most men don’t. I really feel like we are on different planets and that I never realized as a girl how different most men and women think and feel and experience things.

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        1. That is true. We all have deep feelings and desires and insecurities and whatnot, but we do seem to process these experiences differently. I think this is where a little more understanding on both the parts of men and women for their spouses couldn’t go astray. I don’t think it’s an easy thing to achieve though. I certainly haven’t mastered it.

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          1. Idk you sound like a pretty sensitive or responsive guy based on the drawings. I grew up with a father who could not deal with any emotions at all. I know that men, particularly American men, deal with their own and others’ emotions better than the older generation. But I think also that women don’t really understand that men are different. A lot of women think that men think like them and for the most part, I don’t think it’s true! That’s part of the reason for the confusion/sadness/mess with sex. Women and men are on different trajectories for the most part (although I DID want to be Anais Nin when I was younger…)

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            1. I’ve yet to sample Anais Nin’s writings. She seems to have been an extraordinary woman… empowered even. And sex really is a mess. I’m afraid I haven’t figured out how it works yet, and it’s a constant source of frustration for me. Like you, I suspect it’s because men and women are wanting different things from it, and rarely the twain shall meet. (I think I have that expression right…) And, thank you. I do like to think of myself as pretty tuned in when it comes to the sensitivity department, but even I still have much to learn I’m afraid.

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              1. Yes, that would probably be a good way to describe her. She was adventurous, ground breaking, and appreciated women’s eroticism. My formula is this: Women= taught from very early age that their value is in their appearance, sexual attractiveness. They are attracted to men in general to take care of them, if not financially, men who will “complete” them because they have been brought up to be insecure without reassurance and incomplete without a man. Some of them will look for money/power (or many). Others will look for a man who is their intellectual superior and then some will really look for an equal partner, but in general, most women are not satisfied with themselves at the core. They look at sex as something that will attach men to them, that will create emotional intimacy, they plunge into relationships (no pun intended) that are physical because they crave emotional intimacy and reassurance, not realizing that men look at easy sex usually as cheapening the woman, looking at sex and women more as commodities in a certain sense and that men need challenge and a chase. The greater the challenge and chase, the longer they sustain with the same woman. Once contested, the woman is often mostly disposable. Women also don’t understand how short a time they have before they are less attractive to men (say, after age 26) because men like women they feel they can influence, control, who will defer to them, who won’t challenge them, won’t argue with them, won’t boss them around, won’t demand too much. The awful thing I think is that women are now having children without husbands and with multiple fathers, which is just harmful to children.

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                1. Yes, it is a complete mess, I have to agree. I think historically (and even now) men were groomed to be the “head of the family”. It was on men to be the strong one, the provider, the dominant personality in any relationship they have. I think this sells men short. We are so much more than that but you wouldn’t know it the way we cram ourselves into this mould that’s been fashioned for us since birth. I can only hope that this is something we unlearn. Give us time. Maybe we’ll get there in the end. 😛

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                  1. There is a lot of pressure on men to perform (again no pun intended) and many men who are not financially successful or who don’t have a distinguished career have feelings of self-inadequacy, low worth. In a fickle economy this can be a serious problem. On the other hand, I think it’s fine to have dominance, whoever is the dominant one, which will usually be the man. I think women want men to consider them their equals but I don’t think they want a weak man and if anything, prefer a stronger man.

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                    1. I see what you mean. I guess it depends on one’s definition of “stronger” really. I’ve never been one to dominate others in any sense, and I’d also be hard pressed to think of myself as a “stronger” man. Really, I’m just a man. No more, no less. Anything other than that and I get severe anxiety about being able to perform. 😛

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              2. I don’t know that I would want to read her writings, though. I think I read her a bit in French and it was a bit too flighty for me. Not sure. I usually end up reading male authors! But I am my own favorite female author. 🙂 I really like the work of this one woman though..I’ll have to find the name and send to you.

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    1. I’m so pleased that it did. I felt like I was doing something quite unseemly and inappropriate at the time I created this strip. Thankfully, I’ve come to my senses and have realised that this is exactly what it needs to be. Thank you as always for reading and commenting, Faith. 🙂

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    1. It’s kind of shocking how many couples out there that it affects. It helps me too when I know that my silly little comic can speak to someone else going through this same thing. It makes the honesty worth it. 😀

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  2. I always think, if there’s one person experiencing this or that then there must be many more that have experienced it. In that way we are never alone and I believe as creators of art, music, strips we are appointed to share our experiences and feelings so that others can come to realize they are indeed not alone in it. ♥ I love how open you are ♥

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    1. Thank you, Elly. I try to be an open book as much as possible. After all, it’s what I want other people to do with me. I think we all have experiences to share that could help others reading about them. At least… that’s my hope! 😀

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